A Furious World

The gift of growing old

With the world being in the awful state that it is in, I think we could all use a good Baby Girl goes hiking video.

In his 1978 book, “Memoirs,” Jean Monnet describes the painstaking diplomacy that was necessary to negotiate the final stages of the European Coal and Steel Community (the precursor to the European Union). In the years after World War II, Monnet was in the middle of relationships that, in short order, needed to be cultivated and cemented between nations who shared as many interests as differences.

While a data driven case to strengthen Europe’s economic ties was at the ready, Monnet understood how relationships were crucial to smoothing a path to durable solutions across cultural differences. Because, as he wrote, “The last word is always political.”

If our politics depends on our relationships - and the mutual understanding that comes with them - our politics are in a very bad place. Across the US, around the world, it is nearly impossible to find relationships between opposing decision-makers that are strong enough to navigate differences and arrive at political solutions. Their ideological polarization has been turbocharged by society’s affective polarization. Extremism and violence is on the cusp of becoming a norm.

Just look around.

After the gruesome attacks by Hamas, a political solution for the Middle East feels further away than ever. In the zombie apocalypse that is the House of Representatives, radical forces undermine our government, putting our national and economic security at risk. And, in the year ahead, we all wonder if the results of the 2024 presidential election will be trusted by the public.

Cranky doesn’t even begin to capture how all this makes me feel.

See, back in 2015 I was part of a delegation that visited communities across Israel. Over the course of almost two weeks in August, we spent time with Palestinians in Ramallah, passing through security checkpoints and massive concrete walls to try and understand their fears and aspirations. Later, we traveled south to Sderot, meeting with a local security official who spoke to us as he stood in front of rockets that had been fired on the town from Gaza.

Sderot, 2015

While we were in Jerusalem, at dawn and dusk, I would break from the group and wander through the Old City. In 30 minutes, I could walk from the Western Wall to the Church of the Holy Sepulchre up to the al-Aqsa Mosque. The evenings were particularly special as families gathered on the grounds surrounding the mosque to break the Ramadan fast with their iftar meal.

Old City, Jerusalem, 2015

I think a lot about the Israelis and the Palestinians I met on that trip. And, I am furious.

I am furious about the heinous attacks by Hamas that killed so many Israelis. I am furious about the children and families dying in Gaza. I am furious the hatred that has made its way to the US as Wadea Al Fayoume, a Palestinian boy in Chicago who had just turned six, died after being stabbed 26 times in an alleged hate crime.

We are all furious.

In our fury, we want to blame something or someone. In our fury, we take away the humanity of those we think are to blame. In our fury, we no longer relate to each other. In our fury, there is no relationship, there is no solution.

Because we lose hope, we are led to except more fury.

Breaking the fury feels impossible. Because things are going to get worse. In Gaza. In Israel. And who knows where else. At this point, there is no political will and no smart policy that can broker a solution.

At some point, a time will come for solutions. But thousands of lives will be lost in the meantime.

And, more than fury, that makes me sad.

Growing Old

We are t-minus a couple months till Anisa turns one. Which means her cohort of baby buddies are all throwing birthday parties. In other words, my weekends are no longer my weekends.

In the BBG times, I would feel bad for friends who were dragged to kids birthday parties week after week. I didn’t want to be rude, but inside, I was thinking, “That’s a life of a lot of frosting.”

Needless to say, the frosting times are upon me. Last weekend was a bouncy house, the weekend before was a foam jungle gym. Adorable toddlers with frazzled parents; cute babies with photo-happy dads. (Count me among the latter.)

While Anisa is too little to appreciate the fun and festivities around her (although, she did love playing in the plastic balls), I am reminded how fortunate we are to have friends and family that make these moments all the more special. It is fun to see how Baby Girl’s buddies are developing, how they are all taking in the world at different speeds.

I look forward to Anisa getting older. And me getting older along with her. (And Toya getting old, but always looking beautiful.) All three of us taking in the world, learning about each other, teaching each other.

It is a gift to grow old with the people you love.

It is a gift too many in the world are losing.

Dream.US

I met Gaby Pacheco in 2010. She was one of four “Dreamers” who walked - I mean walked - from Miami to Washington, DC, to draw attention to the aspirations and obstacles faced by undocumented youth. From our first conversation, I knew she was smart, strategic and forceful. Since then, every minute I get to spend talking to Gaby is one of my best minutes.

Well, after years of work with Dream.US leading their policy and advocacy work, Gaby was just named their President and CEO. Dream.US, founded by Don Graham, has provided more than 10,000 college scholarships to Dreamers attending 80+ partner colleges in 20+ states and Washington, DC. I am so happy for Gaby, the organization and the thousands of young people they will serve under her leadership.

Reading

A few years back, the New York Times’ Azam Ahmed wrote an incredible story about a Mexican mother who hunted down the cartels who murdered her daughter. Ahmed’s reporting about violence and impunity across Latin America had caught my attention; but this was something different.

Since the original story, Ahmed has interviewed more than 100 individuals to release a new book, “Fear is Just a Word.”

“It is not easy to write about violence,” Cristina Rivera Garza points out in her review.
”Potential pitfalls lurk at every turn of phrase: the re-victimization of victims, the appropriation of other people’s suffering and pain, the rendering of real evil as banal, to name a few. Ahmed,” she continues, “writes about violence in Mexico with insight and sobriety.”

I’m looking forward to my copy arriving soon.

Writing

For my day job, I wrote a piece for The Fulcrum.

Cooking

If you like cooking Asian food, get yourself some Fly By Jing spices. I just whipped up a delicious batch of Ma Po Tofu using their 3 Year Aged Doubanjiang. So damn good.