Bye-Bye Butterfly
And some graduation musings
Nearly every Friday, Anisa’s pre-school has parents surprise the students as the week’s “mystery reader.” Toya went early in the Spring and was a hit. (No surprise.) I nabbed one of the last slots of the year, intending to swap Little Blue Truck for a barnraiser commencement speech that would put these three-year-olds on the road to a lifetime of rainbow sprinkles, choo-choo trains and stuffies. Regalia was ready to go so I thought I’d share my wisdom with you, dear reader.
Good morning Yellow Room graduates!
There was once a beauuuuuuu-ti-ful Nisa Unicorn.1 She had a curly mane, a button nose, a glowing brown coat and the best laugh. Every morning, especially weekends, she woke up her Mommy and Daddy Unicorn far too early so they could eat breakfast and have a dance party.2 (During the week, of course, they had to drag Nisa Unicorn out of bed.)
One morning, many months ago, in a land far away (California) Mommy and Daddy Unicorn took Nisa to start preschool. The first day, she loved. The second day, not so much. But, soon, she made friends. And, a few weeks after that, Mommy and Daddy Unicorn (Daddy Unicorn especially) stopped getting teary-eyed when they dropped her off.
Just when beauuuuuu-ti-ful Nisa unicorn was making best friends, Daddy Unicorn said, “We need to flap our wings and fly all the way across the country.”
“Can my Unicorn friends come?,” asked Nisa Unicorn. “Jules Unicorn? Jon and Liz Unicorn? Uncle Jimmy Unicorn, Aunty Cammy Unicorn? Phoopi or Dadima Unicorn?”
Nisa Unicorn was very sad her friends couldn’t come. But, her furry friend, Lady caught a ride across the country with the Alicorns.3
Soon, Mommy, Daddy and Nisa Unicorn moved into their new house and Nisa joined the Yellow Room. On the first day, Mommy Unicorn was nervous, Nisa Unicorn was sad, and Daddy Unicorn felt like an asshole.4 The first few weeks were hard on everyone. But, soon, beauuuu-ti-ful Nisa unicorn was making best friends, doing her activities, telling Mommy and Daddy about her day.
See, after one year of preschool, beauuuuu-ti-ful Nisa Unicorn is well on the way to becoming a bright, kind, human being. Not only is she resilient, but she cares deeply about the unicorns around her, has the biggest laugh for a little unicorn and is as sharp as they come. And, on top of all that, as Mommy Unicorn would say, she is a good hang.
As Nisa Unicorn grows up, a few things she should keep in mind. Unicorns are way better than machines, so be with unicorns. Even if you don’t have to steer your flying car, put your hands on the steering wheel of life. E-sports are most definitely not sports. Work for your pay. Be what you want to be. And, most importantly, keep laughing.
May your second year of preschool be just as wonderful and exciting for all the Unicorns. Without the cross country moves.
And … I Got Bumped
Two days before my big moment, I got an email from Miss S. that I was being kicked to the curb for “Grandparents Day.” And, even though I told Miss S. that people often think I am Anisa’s grandfather, I was told next year was always an option.
Fortunately, I was able to use the regalia when Boston University School of Public Health invited me to be their alumni speaker at this year’s commencement. Which was an incredible honor. A bit of what I offered to the graduates:
In 30 years, a great deal has changed on this campus and in the world. But one thing remains true: We learn so that we can live in a future we haven’t yet imagined.
For decades, we operated with the assumption that our public systems were built to serve people. They weren’t perfect. I have certainly spent a lot of time trying to reform and improve those systems. But the systems were a starting point, a commitment to building and sustaining healthy communities …There is no returning to the before times. At all levels of society, the world is fundamentally different. And the speed of change is only accelerating.
And, still, within the reality of these circumstances, we need to rebuild the trust that allows public health systems to address the challenges and opportunities of the future. To do so means we need to ask a different set of questions. Still based on the the methods and measures we’ve learned at BUSPH — but, different in so many ways.
The full speech is here.
Whether you are a beauuuuu-tiful little unicorn or a student entering the workforce, the world is moving fast. Hold tight to your values, lightly to your master plan. The future is impossible to predict.
Bye-Bye Butterflies
These days, Anisa loves two things, unicorns and butterflies. Luckily, instead of delivering a pony with a horn (thank you), Toya’s sister got Baby Girl a Butterfly Garden. Since its arrival two weeks ago, Anisa’s been closely following the journey of five caterpillars in a plastic cup on our kitchen counter.
They went from dormant to nibbling to, “Daddy, they are CRAWLING!!!!” The joy of life in her voice is spectacular. After quite a few caterpillar rumbles — which led to a number of very excited texts from Toya — about a week ago they all formed chrysalides. Every morning, over breakfast at the counter, we would count the chrysalides and wonder when butterflies would emerge.
I’ll be honest, as they started to look more and more shriveled, I was worried we were witnessing caterpillar carnage. In which case, Aunty would have some explainin’ to do because I’m not ready for that conversation.
Two days ago, Toya texted, “Oh my goodness. I don’t know when it happened, but the butterflies are emerging.” When I picked up Anisa that afternoon, I shared the news. She was excited, but still wanted to stop for ice cream on the way home. (Priorities.)
After a few days of the butterflies flitting about their little habitat, this afternoon we decided it was time to let them go. We walked to the local community garden and Anisa unzipped the top of the habitat.
With a little coaxing, the first one made a break for it.
“Bye-bye butterfly,” Anisa yelled, giggling with a squeal as she waved goodbye to the butterfly flicking across the garden. Turning around, she followed the flight, still waving, “Bye monarch butterfly, bye!”
The second one soon followed, the third and fourth a bit slower. The fifth flew from my hand, as Anisa watched. She beamed with joy each time.
Whether or not this is a core memory for Anisa doesn’t really matter. Her excitement at every stage of the process is my core memory. She saw one of her favorite books, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, come to life, cared for them through their journey and celebrated their freedom. It was pretty awesome.
Watching
I don’t have a dog in the NBA Finals fight. But, both of these teams are so much fun to watch.
Watching 60 Minutes being murdered reminds me of research I did for Crossing Borders that took me to the reporting Ed Bradley did on the Vietnamese Boat People. His story, broadcast on June 24, 1979, was just remarkable. It changed the course of history for Vietnamese refugees.
Reading
Enjoying I Have Some Questions For You. Of course, just when I hit the closing third and was fully hooked, I left the book on a plane. Sigh.
Looking forward to What Are Drugs For? where my friend Tim King, “Excavates the evolutionary, religious, and social histories of humanity and its relationship with drugs, showing how these fiery divine substances have shaped and continue to influence religions, societies, and our notions of the good life.”
Eating
Tell me, why does it take a three year old 38 minutes to eat a piece of toast?
Anniversaries
Happy 5th Anniversary Toya! We’ve lived a lot of life in short order. Wedding, lost my dad, two cross country moves, three jobs, one baby. Whew. Love you.
I have learned that if I want to hold the attention of a three-year-old for more than 45 seconds, all stories must begin with a unicorn.
No one’s happier we are moving to permanent digs than our downstairs neighbor.
Alicorns, for the uninitiated, don’t have wings so they can’t fly. Conveniently, these alicorns were driving across the country at the same time the unicorns were flying. Lady, who doesn’t have wings and doesn’t like flying, hitched a ride.
Sorry for the language, Miss S., but, life comes at you fast, kids. Keep up.